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It kind of sounds like a bad dream, am I right?Right before a spray tanning appointment, my heart would sink. It’s because I knew there was an 80% chance that the woman I would be spraying would say one or all of the following about herself: “I haven’t worked out in forever!” “Don’t judge me; I just had a baby.” “Oh, gosh, I can’t believe I’m about to be naked in front of this mirror, in front of you!” “I hope I feel better about myself after this is finished.” “I can’t believe I have let myself get to this point.” "If I could just lose this last 10lbs I would be happy." Or the worst… “Wow, I’m disgusting.”The first couple of spray tans, I didn't even realize it was a bad thing. That's how I talked to myself in the mirror. It's just "what women do" right? But after hearing women talk bad about themselves, every-single-day made me realize how terrible it actually was and it broke my heart each time. These women had so many amazing features and characteristics. “Don’t lose the strings. The calves will eat them and it could kill the calf,” Helen shouted.Then I split the loose bale in four parts and spread the parts across the width of the tire tracks. She kept driving and I kept dropping hay until it was all gone. This was my first feeding alone ... well ... without John.“Thanks, Harold,” Helen said.“Umh ... Helen ... it’s Hairy ... as in H ... A ... I ... R ... Y because I am ... very hairy.”“Oh ... all this time I’ve been thinking H ... A ... R ... R ... Y, short for Harold.”“Nope ... H.A.I.R.Y.”“Cute. How did you get that nickname?”“In my first life...” and I explained. It was long, convoluted ... and worthy of a few words on paper.“Really?” She said, “You’ve lived here before?”“No. I’ll live here again.” I said. “I’m in my past.”She snickered.“Really,” I said. I kept a straight face for ... oh... 30 seconds before I lost it.She promised to tell no one.Right.And that was all it took to move me from staid respectability to nut case.So ....
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